When you start taking action to build a life of freedom, people try and stop you.
They will say things like “you have changed”. Now they may not know what they are doing, they just know that you are different and doing things you didn’t used to. Maybe it is doing things without them, or saying no them when they demand your time for things you don’t want to do.
Whatever it may be, change will upset people.
To them you have to say that you changing is the point.
You are changing yourself for the better. You are living the life YOU want to live and not the life they want you to live. A life BTW that generally benefits them more than it does you.
What do you do when your friend and family hit you with “you’ve changed”?
As hard as it may be, you have to hold the line and don’t backslide. When you set boundaries and start having agency in creating the life you want, people are going to play all sorts of games to get you to go back to being who they want you to be.
Don’t fall for it.
A prime example is babysitting your grandkids. Lots of kids don’t just rely, but expect their parents to drop whatever they are doing and watch the kids. Now once in a while is fine, but once they start expecting it, at the cost of your happiness, it is time to reevaluate the situation.
Once you set boundaries they will try and guilt you back into doing what THEY want you to do.
Regardless of what the subject is, if someone tries to get you to go back to living your life like they want you to, you need to address it. When they say “you’ve changed” or something similar, here are some approaches to deal with it.
1. Acknowledge the Change, Emphasize the Positive:
- “You’re right, I have changed. I’m growing, learning, and evolving. It’s part of becoming the best version of myself.”
- “It’s true, I’ve changed. I’m prioritizing my own happiness and fulfillment, and that sometimes means making different choices.”
2. Gently Redirect the Conversation:
- “I’m glad you noticed. It’s exciting to see how I’ve grown. How about we talk about [positive topic]? I’d love to hear your thoughts on…”
- “I appreciate your observation. It’s a journey of self-discovery, and I’m really enjoying it. Let’s focus on something else, like [positive topic].”
3. Set a Boundary, If Necessary:
- “I understand you may feel differently, but this is my path. I appreciate your concern, but I’d prefer to discuss other topics.”
- “I’m happy to talk about this, but if the conversation becomes negative, I’ll need to end it.”
Living your life may cost you some “friends”
Once you start prioritizing you, it may become apparent that some friends and even family only have you in their orbit because you do what they want you to. That is a harsh reality and not everyone is ready for that.
If you want to have a life of true freedom, you have to stand up for yourself. The people you lose along the way were never really friends, or family in the truest sense, to start with.
Now the people that say “you’ve changed” and whose faces light up in excitement for you, those are the people you want to spend time with.
Now get out there and live the life you want!